Let Me Win, But if I Cannot Win, Let Me Be Brave in the Attempt
by Evblazingfire RIP Mazie
Summary: Set over 800 years in the future where a now old, and dying Helen reflects on her life with Nikola and her daughter Emma to keep her company. (1/16/17 author edit: I finally fixed the tense issue.) (Now up for adoption, see profile for more information.)


Title: Let Me Win, But if I Cannot Win, Let Me Be Brave in the Attempt  
Characters: Helen (Sam), Nikola, OC  
Rating: K  
Summary: Set over 800 years in the future where a now old, and dying Helen reflects on her life with Nikola and her daughter Emma to keep her company.  
Author notes: So this story goes off of the idea that during Helen's 113 years in the past, the president asked her to help out the Stargate program under the name Sammantha Carter.

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1/16/17 Author Edit: I finally managed to fix the tense issue. Sorry, it took me so long, but here you go.

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Let Me Win, But If I Cannot Win, Let Me Be Brave In The Attempt

You know, I never thought I would die of old age. I thought I would get shot in a firefight or maybe even die of a disease. I never thought I would be here, lying in bed, Nikola beside me as I cling to life. I think the worst part is knowing that the same thing would happen to my sweet little Nikola in a little over a century.

But maybe this is all for the best. I mean, James is long gone, along with Nigel and Druitt. Will, Kate, Henry… all gone. Everyone I knew is gone. All that is left is Nikola... sweet, sweet Nikola. The only other member of the five that had lived this long. I could still remember when he asked me out so long ago. I was reading 'Gone with the Wind' when he came into my room, and my heart fluttered. He started out kind of nervous, but he quickly became his confident self. Of course, I said yes. From that moment on, everytime I saw him my heart fluttered and I couldn't help but smile. I still felt the same way whenever I see him even though it was over eight hundred years ago.

I remembered when he proposed and the small ceremony we had. I remembered when I found out I was pregnant and how upset I was that Henry died before he could meet his sister... or his son. I remembered how Abby had died during childbirth and there was nothing I could do. I remembered when the Stargate program went public, so they could warn the world about an upcoming wraith attack. I remembered how I went into labor during the attack and how I was safe in the Sanctuary, while one billion people died. I remembered how two hundred of those deaths were friends of mine either in service for the Stargate program or friends I had made with my work with the Sanctuary.

I remembered all of this, but for the life of me I didn't know how I got to this point in my life.

I was interrupted in my thoughts when Nikola started to wake up beside me. 'Is he comfortable?' I couldn't help but wonder. He is beside me sitting in a plastic chair with one hand holding up his head and the other holding my left hand.

His head bobbed up and down a few times before he finally decided to wake up. "How are you?" he asked.

"I'm good. How long have you been here?" I replied, worried that he might have been here for the fifth night straight.

"All night, sweetheart," he replied, squeezing my hand.

He sighed, "Do you remember those lovely nights we would spend with the kids, just looking up at the stars? We would just savor those precious little moments, not worrying that one day eventually each of our kids would die. We would just lie there and tell the kids stories. My favorites were always the ones you would tell about the Stargate program. What was that one guy's name that you said was just like me? McShar?"

I couldn't help but smile. "McKay, and he wasn't just like you. He was as arrogant as you." I could still remember how he would always think he could solve any problem, and most of the time he could. It shocked everyone when he volunteered for a suicide mission and never returned. We buried him in an empty casket... Dear God, how had we buried so many empty caskets? McKay, Torren, Keller, Daniel, Will, and so many others, all buried in empty caskets. Some never got to say goodbye.

How had the world gotten to this point?

The world on the front looked so happy, but underneath, it is sad... just sad. People who are hardly grateful for the sacrifice good people made to it.

And it isn't just on Earth or Atlantis. It's everywhere, on every planet. Maybe the only exception would be the Nox, but they were wiped out twenty-five years ago.

Yeah, Nikola and I might be the last of the five, but we're protecting the memory of the others while the Tauri are ruining the memories of the other four great races.

"How you doing, Mum?" a sweet little voice asked me. ...Emma... She must have come in while I was lost in thought.

"I'm okay, darling. How are you doing?" I asked her. She was me and Nikola's youngest child and the only one still alive. Not to mention she's eight and a half months pregnant.

"You should be worried about yourself, not me," she replied in her usual snarky, yet caring attitude.

"I may not be your doctor anymore, but I'm still your mother," I replied, half-joking.

"You may be my mother, but I'm your doctor now... I'm doing fine," she replied. I couldn't help but give a small laugh at that. In many ways, she reminds me of Ashley, Will, Henry, and Kate. She never stops until she founds the truth, just like Will. She has a knack for technology, just like Henry. She is caring, smart, and can handle herself beautifully in a fight, just like Ashley and Kate.

"As for you, Father… You need to go get some decent sleep. Go to bed and get some sleep," she told Nikola more seriously.

"Okay," he replied sarcastically. "You know she gets that from you," he finished, pointing at me as he left the room.

"Try to get some more sleep. I'll be back in a few hours to check on you," Emma told me as she left the room, probably to check on the newest intake.

Emma and Nikola... they are all I have left. Two years ago, a fire had left only Emma, Nikola, Dedrick, me, and many of our residents. Almost our entire family died that day. Then five months ago, Dedrick, Emma's husband, died of a basilisk attack when he was visiting Hollow Earth.

How is it that after everything, we ended here?

I started to drift off to sleep, ready to go back to the land of dreams. Where memories washed over me. Where I could see my friends and children who are long gone.

As I drifted off to sleep, I saw Daniel glowing in white, just as he did when he ascended.

"If you immediately know the candlelight is fire, then the meal was cooked a long time ago," I heard him say as I drifted off.

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Hope you all enjoy.

Hope you all got the hint at the end.

I might do some more chapters if the is interest.

As always tell me what you think in your review.


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